justannie's Blog

Today I just hate everyone and everything.  I want to be left alone today.   And,,,,,,,,, I HATE feeling like this. 

Finally, after nearly 3 weeks of run arounds with the Vet's office ~~~~~~~~ MY LIL BABY GIZMO IS HOME AGAIN,  Tho no longer in body, but in spirit!!    WELCOME HOME MY DARLING BOY! 

It was 2 weeks today that i lost my beloved lil Pom, Gizmo.  I miss him so much i ache.  I see him everywhere, i hear his little bark when im sitting outside.  I need to make some changes now that he is no longer here with me.  Time to look for a new place to live, which i've been wanting to do for a while, but wouldn't because i didnt want to upset Giz's routine at this stage in his life.   Everyone is telling to get another dog, but i just cant do it.  Im not well enough to take on that responsibility again,  and,,,, i cant even THINK of replacing my baby boy right now.   Perhaps i'll get a cat later on,, i would love to give a sheltered animal a good home,, but not right now.   Gizmo my love, mom misses you and hopes that your happy where you are now, with Gram and Gramps and Daddy Chuck.  No more pain, my love.   Enjoy your new life suger pop!!!

Just when i was starting to get use to losing my baby Gizmo,  yesterday, a family in my apt. building knocked at my door about 5 pm asking where i took Giz, to have put to sleep.  The young man stood in my doorway, his eyes red and swollen,  and,,, I KNEW!  He has a little dog named Molly, who was the same age a Giz, 15.  Molly became very sick suddenly,  he needed to take her somewhere, FAST.  I gave him the information and said anything I can do to help,, let me know.  He left my door,, went upstairs, and brought Molly down wrapped in a blanket.  Forgot to tell you that Molly was blind and deaf.  I approched him and looked at Molly,  I felt sick to my stomach.  Molly was have a stroke.   I kissed her little head and wispered " I love you",  just as I had done 2 days earlier with my little baby.  Off then went.  I saw him come home alone.  My heart sank.  I hugged him and then he went inside.  No words were spoken.  My Gizmo had  the hotts for lil Molly.  His eyes lit up whenever he saw her.  All I could think was that Giz was waiting for her on the other side to help her through.  I know they are together now,  running and loving.  I am now sitting here grieving over two little babies that left my world.    It's been a HELL of a week!!

Today is the first day I am spending alone without my beloved Gizmo by my side.  I keep waiting for him to come out of the bedroom looking for his "Mom" to feed him, have a drink of water, or just go for a walk on this beautiful day.  I feel so restless.  I miss him more than i can say.  We spent every day together for the last 10 years.  How do you not miss that.  Now, all i have is the wonderful memories of him to think of and the gazillion photos I have so that I can see his tiny little face again.   Im aching, my sweet boy.  I wish we had another day to snuggle and pal around together.  I know your with Gram and Gramps now, and they will take such good care of you.  I also asked God to keep his eye on you too baby.  Have fun now over the Bridge. Your pain is gone.  Your smoothness with the "ladies" is as strong as ever now.   Run baby, run.  Mom will see you soon darling.   I love you, I love you.

Im thinking of my Dad who passed away 13 yrs ago, on this Fathers' Day weekend.  Sending you Butterfly Kisses Dad,  I love and miss you so very much.  Hope you and Mom are doing good "up there".  Visit me when you can.   Mom and Dad,, just letting you know that our baby, Gizmo, has come home to be with you.  I lost him on Sunday.  Please,  watch over him, give him the love and kisses and hugs that I can no longer give.   I love and miss you all.  Take care of each other.